“We may give our human loves the unconditional allegiance which we owe only to God. They they become gods: then they become demons. Then they will destroy us, and also destroy themselves. For natural loves that are allowed to become gods do not remain loves. They are still called so, but can become in fact complicated forms of hatred.” -C.S. Lewis
I stumbled upon this quote this week, and it really spoke to me… especially in this journey of changing my thought patterns about food. I have let food become a god in my life… an idol. I focus on it constantly, thinking about when I will eat again… what it will be… I need it now… my belly isn't feeling full enough… until finally I would eat way more of it than I should have, and then would start to go through the thoughts of I shouldn't have eaten… what is wrong with me… why do I love food so much.
The vicious cycle… it controls me… it holds me down. Just when I feel that I get a handle on it, it grabs ahold and pulls me down further. It truly became my god… and then my demon. And I have been battling it all too long.
The last few weeks on this Made To Crave journey, I have realized that "I have been made for more. I have been made for more than this vicious cycle of food." (quoting Lysa Terkeurst in Made To Crave). I am God's child. He wants what is best for me. And He made me for more… I claim that! And because of that mind frame, I have had successes these last few weeks. I have been able to control the cravings. I have been able to say no to food. I have been able to turn down my favorite dessert even though everyone else is eating it. I have been able to stick to my fast while watching others eat yummy Chipolte burritos in front of me. I have been able to succeed by grabbing onto God, who loves me and cares for me and wants more for me!
Now, in the future, will I have struggles? Absolutely! And that is when I will have to cling to God… to turn to Him and crave Him even more. But this is setting up a foundation to get rid of my love and demon once and for all. Will I always love food? Absolutely! But do I love God more? Most definitely! And because of my love for Him, I will not put food up as an idol again!