I am not much of a worrier. I tend to have a very rosy outlook on life, always looking for the positive side of things. I hate it when those around me worry, for it seems that worry is a complete waste of time... for those simple things. But I have to admit that there are a few things that make me worry... worry so much that I can almost make myself sick. And I am in the midst of one of those moments. Oh, sure... I put on a smile and tell everyone around me not to worry, that things will be okay... but deep down, I am worrying. This goes back to my previous post, about waiting for an answer. Yeah, the waiting and no response is getting to me... and the worry piles up.
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important that clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" (Matthew 6: 25-27)
When we moved to Colorado, we had this huge sense that everything was going to be okay... that God was going to be in the midst of all of this and was in complete control. And so we took a HUGE leap of faith, left two jobs for one, and moved our family. Since that time, we have prayed and prayed and prayed that God would provide another job for our family. And yet, a year and a half later, we are still praying and waiting. While we have been okay to this point, things are starting to look a little bleak. And still we cry out for God to answer... to please provide.
"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all of his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them." (Matthew 6:28-32)
I don't worry about simple things, like clothes. I am not actually all into the clothes at all... I don't really care what I put on. But the big things... now those are hard not to worry about. When it comes to money, not knowing how you are going to last the year with out a huge step in from God makes me worry... makes me sick. And when you have a family to take care of, two little boys to look after, it can be extremely tough. And I have been in other situations where I have worried about the health of my children, the health of loved ones... those are so hard to let go.
So instead of worry, what does God call me to do? Seek Him first. Seek him. Before I worry, seek God. Before I go out trying to fix everything, fix what I can't, seek God. Before I fall apart, crying uncontrollably, seek God. Seek God. Seek God. Maybe if I say it enough times, I won't forget to seek God.
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:33-34)